Surviving Back-to-School Season: A Mom's Guide to Juggling It All
As I sit here with my third cup of coffee (don't judge), after dropping my girls off at the bus stop, I'm already feeling that familiar September overwhelm creeping in. Between soccer practices, family functions, work deadlines, and trying to squeeze in some sort of social life and time with friends, it's enough to make any parent want to hide under the covers.
But here's what I've learned after a few years of trial and error (okay, mostly error): surviving this season isn't about being perfect—it's about being strategic and focusing on one thing at a time. Right now, the biggest "thorn in my side" is meal planning and that mental load of knowing what's going on each day.
The "Shared Notes" App & A "Just in Case" Meal
While I hope to one day have everything on the calendar, color-coordinated by kid and activity, I'm not there yet. Everything gets written down in my paper and pencil planner, and I have approximately 82 checklists. However, I have done one thing that's helped plan out the month: just a shared meal plan in "Notes" on my iPhone.
Simply having the ideas down for dinner and a general plan of what's going on that day (i.e., "Uncle Danny's birthday party-- snacks for dinner) has helped tremendously. The "game plan" is shared with my husband, so he knows what he'll have to do to contribute for dinner when he walks in the door. In our house, he's the "meat man" or grill master. I do sides. Of course, we both experiment with something new from time-to-time, and if one of us cooks all of dinner, the other cleans up. We also have a "clean out the fridge day" where we put together a "kid-cuterie" board aka "snacks for dinner" with whatever is about to go bad-- the tomatoes become a caprese salad, carrots and peppers get cut-up for a veggie, and whatever is still around (and isn't growing anything it shouldn't be) gets added. They love it.
Frozen nuggets are also always in the freezer as backup, and whenever we make a large pot of chili or any soup, we save some to freeze. If either of us ever comes home and we're totally drained, we can thaw out a "just in case" soup and heat it up.
The "Good Enough" Revolution
Here's the thing nobody tells you: your house doesn't need to be Pinterest-perfect, and neither do you. Some days, dinner is frozen nuggets and Easy Mac out of the blue box. Sometimes (read: most of the time), my only workout is walking the dogs. The twins' backpacks might have yesterday's granola bar crumbs, and that's okay. This season of life is chaotic, and I have to remind myself not to compare myself to others who seemingly "have it all together."
Instead of stressing about elaborate family activities, we focus on small moments. We have "dance parties" in the kitchen while I'm cooking dinner, and the girls are helping with dishes or chopping veggies. We also have "fancy dinner" one night a week, where we let the girls drink out of plastic wine glasses, light a candle, and dim the lights. The calmer atmosphere helps everyone's sensory overload, too, and we share our weekly highlights.
Sharing the Load & Putting on Your Oxygen Mask First
This may sound selfish, but it's not: you have to take care of yourself first. For me, that means a monthly girls' night on the calendar, a lunch date with myself, or just an hour to sit and do a puzzle after everyone else has gone to bed. Protect that time like it's sacred and actually schedule it. When I take "me time," I'm a better mom, wife, and employee. Period.
We're also trying to get the kids to do more around the house to help. At 6, 6 (yes, twins), and 7 years old, they're capable of feeding the animals now, they can unload the dishes (my husband and I are both too anal to have them load it), and they can clean their rooms and pick up after themselves. Relinquishing control means that, yeah, there won't be perfect vacuum lines on the carpet, and those clothes in their drawers probably aren't folded, but you can save your energy for something else that matters more.
Remember: we're not trying to be supermoms. We're just trying to be present, keep everyone healthy, and stay sane. Embrace the chaos if you're deep in the thick of it in this "season" of life, and give yourself some grace-- and an iced coffee if it helps.
